A Corruption of Perchers. Critical News, 28th September 2014

Sydney Casely-Hayford, sydney@bizghana.com

My story of the week. The IGP was looking for one Richard Frimpong Dardo for an alleged deal he made to host money. Apparently they had been looking for a while but never suspected that he could be the man behind Vicky Hammah.

Then luckily for them, Frimpong did the unthinkable and one morning refused a mounting request from Vicky. It precipitated a fight of sorts and Vicky sashayed to the police station to report domestic abuse.

Now I don’t believe the details of the story by a stretch of the imagination, because both Vicky and Frimpong said out of the ordinary things, but it is such a creative piece of work I can’t but admire the backlash for Frimpong. Vicky was on the path to the one million she so desires, and Frimpong’s perching on her back provided close to a quarter of the solution.

Oh Vicky, Frimpong, why did you fight about “sᴐri kᴐ pra”? Something all humans look forward to? Many a child has been brought to the world when the morning breeze is cool, birds are chirping and the air is fresh with newly released oxygen from trees and shrubs; when the earthy smell rises to meet every hiss and moan. Why?

I don’t know what the IGP’s other interests are in the case, but me I would just love to hear in detail, the backend of this case. Vicky, let’s me and you have a chat. Just holla!

Mpassa, Intrinsic Implausibility. Critical News, 8th June 2014

Sydney Casely-Hayford, sydney@bizghana.com

I am sitting on the front porch and I can hear my nieces playing in the garden.  Today’s game is about mythology, Greek and any other they know, making up the stories as they go along and I am captivated by their creativity.

Distracted from the hard economics text for a radio program later in the day, they are at the part where twelve-year old Adobea is explaining how the Golden Stool of Ashanti descended from heaven and the legend surrounding the sword embedded in the rock, the heart of the Asante Kingdom.

“Mpassa”.  That is how nine-year old Mariama politely calls out a liar.  She has been warned many times and reminded with a few smacks every now and then by her older sister how rude it is to tell an older person that they are not exactly telling the truth.

In defiance, my scientist counters, “if it is true, then how did it stay in the skies for so long? And how was he able to stop the rain from bringing it down?  And what was “gravy” (she means gravity) doing all this time while the gold stool was in the cloud?  And didn’t anyone see it from an aeroplane?  If it was gold someone would have stolen it to make rings and things!”

Adobea:  In those days there were no planes, and the word is gravity not gravy.

Mariama:  Mmmm, mpassa.  Unless there were booster rockets in the stool to keep it in space and you could navigate it from a Nintendo like a dro-thingi (drone) from a remote place, even then you will need gps-local (gps location) to find it.  Did they have all that at the time?  I am going to ask uncle Sydney.

Show Me The Wakinns. Critical News, 25th May 2014

Sydney Casely-Hayford, sydney@bizghana.com

Have you ever had to charge your phone for twelve cedis?  Fuseini and his team at Madina got the benefit of my largesse when I force stopped at their workshop.  Desperate and needing to put some juice in my phone so I could ask for directions to where I was heading, “Lucky Boys Cleaning System” off road side also needed fuel for their generator so they could finish off some orders; “dumsor” since morning had pushed them to the brink of contractual failure.  It was 5.35pm.

Donning bright yellow decorated T-shirts and jeans, glorified underpants on display in defiant repugnance, we worked out a compromise.  I would buy a gallon of petrol and they would plug my phone in for as long as I needed.

I was pleased to help some brothers out, leverage a dig at ECG with this piece and middle-finger Government for its non-delivery of a Better Ghana.  I have never understood the slogan anyway.

So thanks guys, “abusua” forever.

I don’t know what more to say about Subah Infosystems, GRA and motorbike contracts and unraveling JOSPONG Group sagas.  Every where you turn, either Jospong or RLG is taking free tax-payer money and walking away or some government official is lying about how cash actually kind of oozed into their bank accounts.  What is going on with these two companies is simply boggling.